


Regard vide

by Get_below_my_line_of_vision



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amnesia, Angst, Extended Metaphors, M/M, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Near Future, Post-Break Up, at least, but also kind of, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:28:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25915876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Get_below_my_line_of_vision/pseuds/Get_below_my_line_of_vision
Summary: The government is testing a new tech which allows a specific memory to be erased. Wanting to escape his constant thoughts of Enjolras, Grantaire volunteers.
Relationships: Enjolras/Grantaire (Les Misérables)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	1. Grantaire

Life was never a straight line: there were dips and highs. Usually childhood was when everything was at an all time high: there would be no worries and no conflict. Even if the external world was crumbling before him, Grantaire could only remember the good times; when naivety guided his perception of the world. As he grew older, the world turned greyer as events seemed to flatten out. There were no bumps in his life, only bland roads he could walk on.

The pavement below his feet was smooth and there were no rough areas. No isolated rocks nor windy roads nor dead ends. Most times he felt he was walking purely because the roads simply existed, with no purpose but to reach the horizon which loomed ahead of him, always being a few minutes behind to reach the sun.

To ease the boring, repetitive walking, Grantaire turned to alcohol. Through drinks, he could witness life in a colourful light. The sun wasn’t a glaringly bright entity but a warm one. His feet no longer ached as he began to float. 

In fact… there was one other thing which could serve a similar result. There was a someone. Enjolras. Frequently teased as Apollo, a Greek god. A handsome one of that. The only reason why he mentioned his beauty so often was due to the lack of acknowledgement from the other end. Enjolras would be modest and believe himself to not look pleasing. After finding out about his blindness to such a glaringly obvious detail, Grantaire reminded him everyday. One day he was Achilles, next he was Adonis, and one day he was Aphrodite. Enjolras preferred the last above all the stupid nicknames. 

They would often catch themselves arguing constantly. However it was never alarming as they argued mostly when sitting on each other’s laps. Despite how much fire they spat at each other, their hearts beat as one.

Soon, the bland, straight road began to twirl and twist, allowing him to taste adventure at the tip of his tongue, eager to run and explore further.

When he spent his time alone, focusing on his music, pressing a key after the other on his piano, it no longer felt enjoyable. It wasn’t complete until Enjolras approached him, smiling, brushing his fingers against his, guiding them to weave a beautiful melody. Sometimes Grantaire would purposefully get a note wrong just to hear a deep chuckle from his partner as he shook his head and quietly muttered, “What shall I ever do with you?”  
Grantaire would immediately smirk. Enjolras would always speak so formerly, as if he was stuck in an era which had long gone and passed.

It was as if their romance was timeless- no beginning and no end. There wasn’t a specific date in which they got together… It was all so gradual. Natural. Two men who were drawn to each other until they became inseparable.

Running too fast was a grave mistake it seemed: neither could decide the speed of the development of their relationship. Grantaire travelled too quickly. Looking out into the distance, he didn’t notice that his road was beginning to rot. Infected, the ground beneath him started to shift and mutate. After Enjolras turned away, he had no path to walk on. He was knee-deep in sand, deserted.  
Miraculously his life worsened than the boring normality he previously had. He didn't know where he was headed or what he should do. There was no goal to continue walking anymore.

In his hand, was a bottle. “Shit.” He murmured to himself. It was as if Enjolras had never touched his soul.  
It took a while until the bottle met his lips again. If he were to drink again it would mean he had accepted Enjolras would not return and his life would settle back to a flat nothing.

The first touch from his lips hurt the most. From the softest care, he felt a cold glass against his mouth. It was jarring and difficult to swallow the situation. Their relationship crumbled so quickly. Neither of them attempted to rebuild their broken home. They both believed in a lie. They loved each other, still.

At the end of the day, he was all alone. He drank as he always did- it was something which brought him comfort. The bitter taste was nothing compared to the burning sensation Enjolras cursed in his throat. Much better.

Without him, the world passed him by. Grantaire would be at his home and fall asleep and wake up three days later. He would sit on his computer for hours, being distracted, until five minutes had passed and he remembered his blissful life with Enjolras. Time was constantly disrupted by the one who had made him believe in the world. Now, he wasn't quite sure of anything. Not without him by his side. If their perfect relationship could fail, what else was there which could stand tall? Everything had a deadline.

Again, he was plagued by the thoughts of his ex. Groaning in misery and pain, he refreshed the news. Then… He read it. The government had been developing the ability to tamper with memories. Their latest achievement was erasing specific memory. Grantaire eagerly clicked on the article.

There it was. Right at the bottom.

They needed volunteers.

The screen turned fuzzy and his room swirled. Without having an aim, he clicked. It took a coupe of minutes until his brain calmed down and he could process what he did.  
He was going to get his memory wiped.

_State what you would like to erase:_

Grantaire took a deep breath and with tears in his eyes and the oh-so-familiar alcohol staining his tongue, he typed.

_Memories of my partner. All the bad and the good times._

He stared at the rotating buffering symbol impatiently until an image of a tick appeared with the message _Request sent!_ beside it.

Calming his broken breathing, he leaned back on his chair, pulling his hair. His hands became sweaty. His heart raced faster than it had ever done after Enjolras left him. He closed his eyes. But that didn’t mean he was unsure. The decision was made. A good decision which would snap him out of his depressive trance. Even though every cell of his began to shake in nervousness, he couldn’t help but feel excited at the same time.


	2. Enjolras

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowie! I actually finished it! I added a chapter before the week was over! Pat on the back, eh
> 
> Fun fact! I suck at writing dialogues. (So I apologise in advance)

It was so easy to fall in love and open his wounds. That’s why he tried his best not to be defenceless. Even though he trusted Grantaire with all his heart, he didn’t trust himself. Around him, he saw countless broken hearts and how love could drive a person mad up to the point of their daily routine rotated around their partner. That wasn’t the kind of life Enjolras wanted. He didn’t want to fall so deep that Grantaire would be the only one he could depend on.

That was ultimately the reason why he pushed him away. He couldn’t watch Grantaire fall deeper while he stood up high, watching him. So, he let him go. It was an act stemming from love however it was not an act of love.

Every day he regretted what he did.

By ending his relationship with Grantaire, he severed relationships with most of their friends as even hearing about the other was too painful. Those who used to be his friends were dragged into anonymity.

When loud, hard knocks sounded at his door, Enjolras couldn’t guess who it could be on the other side. All his friends were gone. Perhaps it would be Grantaire? With the last person on his mind, he rushed to the door and hurriedly opened it only to come face to face with a person who reminded him of his ex: his sister, Éponine. 

“‘Ponine?” Enjolras stuttered, “Wha-“  
She had her arms crossed and her eyebrow quirked, “My brother is doing something stupid again.”  
‘Stupid’. That’s how the two used to mock their relationship as. What seemed to be humorous at the time burned his throat. “So? Why's it my concern?”  
Éponine sighed and carefully placed her hand on his chest. “I don’t care about you but I care about R. He’s still in love with you.”  
“Don’t. Lie.” He gritted through his teeth.  
“Listen Enj, I don’t have time for this. Grantaire is going to do something stupid and it’ll affect your future with him.”  
“If it’s so grave why aren’t you stopping him?”  
She sighed as she removed her hand from him. “It has nothing to do with me. He’ll be fine. He’ll still remember me.”  
“Right, and-“ Enjolras bit his tongue. A second passed as realisation dawned on him. “What is he going to do.”  
Éponine tapped the side off his head. “Zap.” She whispered.  
“Shit!” Enjolras ran rapidly out of the door without wearing his shoes. 

He had heard about the experiment in the news but he didn’t think anyone would participate. If anything he believed it was a blatant attempt by the government to control its citizens. They had the power to erase a person’s mind. So much control was in their possession. Damned if he let Grantaire fall into their hands.

Thanks to the news, he knew exactly which building to head to. Many did. There was a huge crowd surrounding the entrance, questioning the morality of the experiment.

Desperate, he shoved people in order to see the doors clearly. This was unlike him but whenever Grantaire was in his mind he acted illogically.

It was then from the corner of his eye he could see Grantaire walk towards the building. They briefly shared eye contact and there was a sense of emptiness Enjolras could read from him. 

Pretending his ex was a stranger, Grantaire carried on walking.

It was then Enjolras burst and ran over to him and grabbed his arm and forcibly guided him away from the experiment; far as possible.  
“Let go of me!” Grantaire tried to pull away.  
“No! I’m not letting you do this! I love you!” He paused in his tracks, shocked that the words he found so difficult to express when they were dating fell out of his mouth so easily. “I… I love you!” He grinned. “I want you to stay.”  
Grantaire looked at him, his face pale.  
Something was wrong.  
He scrunched his face. “How can you love a person you just met?”

No. No. No. No. No. No. Enjolras backed away, his heat beating so loud it was the only thing he could hear. “I…”  
Grantaire casually looked around. “Luckily for you, I’m going to let you go for having just dragged me! Since you don’t want to kidnap me, I’ll be on my way.”

Grantaire turned to head back on track.  
“Wait!” Enjolras shouted.  
There were no words said when Grantaire turned around, but his stare alone cemented the reality. His expressions were blank. He had forgotten who he was.

Due to the long silence between the two, Grantaire shrugged and took this as a cue to leave. Meanwhile Enjolras was left abandoned, watching the one he loved walk away. Just like how he left him in the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, it means a lot :D  
> I love comments,so don’t be shy to leave them at any time :)

**Author's Note:**

> You know that feeling when you hate your own writing but you want to tell a story and so you hate yourself as you weave your story? Yeah... I'm feeling that xd
> 
> There may be a third chapter, but I think two would suffice.
> 
> There won't be an extended metaphor in the next chapter and I'm tired.


End file.
